hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:34:42 AM): hi there
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:35:15 AM): hey you sexy, beautiful, goddess!!!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:35:24 AM):
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:35:31 AM): you are too kind
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:35:53 AM): i'm glad you made it home safe
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:35:58 AM): really glad
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:36:02 AM): not really
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:36:07 AM): oh?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:36:08 AM): yeah, of course i did
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:36:29 AM): i was scared i had jinxed you, by saying don't die
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:36:56 AM): LOL
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:37:17 AM): because when you say something like that you put a notion out into the universe that doesn't understand "negation" all it hears is "die"
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:37:23 AM): that isn't funny, fucker
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:37:42 AM): it is to me baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:37:47 AM): why?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:38:21 AM): because i'm still drunk, pretty much anything is funny right now
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:38:35 AM): i never do this... : lol
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:39:07 AM): what?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:39:21 AM): i never say that acronym, but i had to
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:39:41 AM): oh, ok
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:40:30 AM): i just think it's retarded. i have my favourite acronyms... and that is not one
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:40:32 AM): haha
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:41:01 AM): i love you either way
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:41:06 AM): so what kind of trouble did you get up to tonight?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:41:41 AM): none, got drunk with my two best friends and came home, that's it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:42:18 AM): you know you could have jazzed up that story for me a little
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:42:20 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:42:55 AM): if i wassn't still drunk, i might have
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:43:04 AM): hehehe
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:44:04 AM): i have a crazy story for you... i picked up this 50 yr old guy last night
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:44:14 AM): k
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:45:08 AM): you know, come to think of it there isn't that much crazy to this story, other than the fact that he's twice my age
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:45:39 AM): ok, i still wanna hear
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:45:42 AM): but the looks i got from my friends were pretty crazy
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:46:42 AM): well we got into the cocaine and i usually go totally loonie when i do that stuff, like i have done some stupid shit under that influence
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:47:45 AM): so by the time the sun was coming up i was drinking grand marnier straight, playing pool drunk and fucking a guy as old as my dad
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:47:54 AM): ok, so there is a bit of crazy in there
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:48:12 AM): lol
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:48:23 AM): fucking, that sounds fun
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:48:44 AM): he was surprisingly good, once he let the blow wear off
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:49:09 AM): (stuff keeps most men from keeping, or sometimes even getting an erection)
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:49:27 AM): glad you had fun, you deserve it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:49:49 AM): woah, i just realized i made a mistake before... i said i was playing pool drunk. i meant to say NAKED
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:50:09 AM): damn, wish i could've seen that
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:50:20 AM): considerably more in keeping with my usual lunacy
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:50:28 AM): you should have come out!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:50:30 AM): hahha
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:50:47 AM): wish i could, i totally would have been all over you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:51:03 AM): and i wouldn't have had to fuck the old guy
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:51:04 AM): hahahahaha
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:51:15 AM): lol, yeah, but you said you liked it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:51:19 AM): i did
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:51:30 AM): but it still weirds me out sometimes
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:51:43 AM): i want to make them pay when they're that much older
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:51:44 AM): hehehe
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:51:52 AM): lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:51:52 AM): *evil cxackle*
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:52:08 AM): at least you got some, i'm related to every piece of pussy around here
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:52:30 AM): i asked him, actually, inadvertedly, to make a donation to my tuition fund
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:52:34 AM): he did
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:52:54 AM): WHAT?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:52:58 AM): !!!!!!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:53:01 AM): what's the closest big city next to you?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:53:14 AM): ya, he gave me $50
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:53:23 AM): hehehe
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:53:35 AM): Houston, tx
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:53:50 AM): ah
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:54:03 AM): wow, he gave you $50, did that offend you, you're worth more than that
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:54:11 AM): why, you going to fly down?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:54:22 AM): maybe
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:54:25 AM):
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:54:35 AM): no it didn't offend me
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:54:44 AM): i wish you would
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:54:58 AM): the thing is, my worth can't have a dollar amount
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:55:07 AM): i know that
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:55:18 AM): so the 50 he gave me was a nice gesture, it wasn't for the sex
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:55:34 AM): i know baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:55:36 AM): and he slipped it in my purse with his phone number
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:55:42 AM): it was kinda sweet
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:56:03 AM): that's cool, glad you had fun
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:56:06 AM): i did
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:56:41 AM): i have been so insatiable lately tho!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:56:57 AM): sorry i'm missing that!!!!!!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:57:06 AM): you didn't miss it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:57:20 AM): you strode right into it, actually
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:57:27 AM): lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:57:56 AM): i guess maybe i should have said "this year" instead of "lately"
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:58:01 AM): i haven't been laid in about 3 or 4 weeks now, i'm getting extremely horny
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:58:05 AM): lol, i see
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:58:42 AM): \it strikes me as odd, to be frank
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:58:48 AM): what does?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 1:59:12 AM): that you don't get laid more often. but ii have a theory
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 1:59:21 AM): what is it?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:00:04 AM): well i just wonder about your approachability... like i told you i was completely UNNERVED around you, until i learned a little more about you
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:00:08 AM): the hurricane did kinda fuck up a lot of my sexual plans though
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:00:20 AM): i'm not approachable?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:00:23 AM): that sucks
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:00:24 AM): you should kick that hurricane's ass
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:00:46 AM): yeah, i should
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:00:48 AM): i don't know what it is... like... you took me APPART with that smile of yours
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:00:59 AM): lol, i'm glad
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:01:16 AM): i am not a girl who gets nervous around boys, and i was damn near shaking
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:01:25 AM): damn, i didn't realize
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:01:29 AM): it was almost like i felt you were too good for me
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:01:54 AM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, ME TOO GOOD FOR YOU?????? HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:01:59 AM): sorry, couldn't help it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:02:10 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:02:19 AM): you're way too good for me
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:02:27 AM): i totally disaggree
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:02:27 AM): way tooooooooo ggggoooooooodddddddd
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:02:34 AM): justin
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:02:42 AM): that's because you're wrong
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:03:40 AM): i'm a predator... and you're a really genuine guy. the kind of genuine guy i normally am pretty scared of, for fear that i might really feel something... i dunno
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:03:48 AM): maybe i am wrong
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:03:50 AM): did you?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:03:57 AM): of course
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:04:07 AM): i'm glad you did
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:04:10 AM): i tell you every chance i get that i do
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:04:31 AM): is this something new for you?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:05:03 AM): i'm not just fuckin around when i tell you i love you... it's something different than being in love, that's for sure, because that takes a lot more intimacy than we've been privy to
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:05:15 AM): but i do love you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:05:21 AM): is it new for me? no
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:05:22 AM): i love you too
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:05:27 AM): oh, ok
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:06:40 AM): but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with, if anything it makes it harder... you know, you start to get conditioned to what loving someone means, what it's going to do to upset your world
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:06:41 AM): etc
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:06:59 AM): i don't want to upset your world
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:07:38 AM): haha, this could upset in the best way possible... you're in a different city. that's exciting. justin, upset isn't always a bad thing
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:07:53 AM): the same way stress isn't always negative
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:08:15 AM): best way possible? what do you mean?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:08:33 AM): i mean the adventure aspect of it all
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:08:38 AM): oh
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:09:33 AM): i imagine myself one day realizing i can't possibly make it thru the weekend without your hands all over me, and by god (i am this impulsive) i find myself a cheap plane ticket and i come visit you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:09:52 AM): don't put it past me
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:11:04 AM): i wish that would happen, i miss you so much, i know it's a stretch, but if you believed in monogamy, i would be trying even harder to find a way to be with you. I know you don't believe in it, and that's ok. Trust me, I understand
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:11:42 AM): it just doesn't work for me justin... i mean to say it hasn't worked for me
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:12:07 AM): i am so undeniably jealous by nature, but i'm also a big, fat cheater
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:12:24 AM): i could share you with a woman, but not a man, i know that probably doesn't make sense, but it's true
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:14:42 AM): you know i do sometimes imagine myself with one man again. i imagine someone with the caliber to replace everything i look for in all these lovers that i have (all of whom are quite wonderful, but just don't stand alone) and then when i find a man who comes close to that, i literally feel asphixiated at the thought of changing my lifestyle
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:15:25 AM): you come close, justin, damn close
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:15:57 AM): you don't know how much that means to me baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:16:42 AM): and then i consider why i partake in this lifestyle (and to be truthful, i'm not quite living it the way i perscribed)
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:17:13 AM): how so? not living the way you perscribed?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:17:14 AM): the reason why i do this is because i feel that the world needs limitless love, not all these limits and conditions
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:17:34 AM): that's true, but i think of it in terms of a different kind of love
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:17:41 AM): just my opinion though
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:17:43 AM): well, lately it's been more about the instant gratification than it has about the love
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:18:10 AM): that's still perfectly in keeping with the woman that i am
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:18:10 AM): trust me, i'm a guy and I can understand that
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:18:41 AM): because i am insatiable in all aspects of life, not just sex
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:18:53 AM): i understand baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:19:55 AM): sometimes i gain ten pounds between monday and thursday because the food i encounter cannot be passed up, and then by sunday i've lost 15 again for the same attitude taken instead on drugs
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:20:20 AM): hmmm. that doesn't sound exactly healthy
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:20:52 AM): it is healthy: it keeps me happily insane!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:20:54 AM): hehehehehe
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:21:30 AM): but the point of polyamory was to be a link on a chain, a part of tribe earth, unity universal
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:21:46 AM): but the revolution isn't going to happen between these thighs
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:22:03 AM): lol, i love you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:22:18 AM): am i being too heavy?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:22:45 AM): no, of course not, i'm right with you. please continue
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:23:03 AM): i just wanted to double check... you are drunk
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:23:06 AM): fuck!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:23:09 AM): yes i am
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:23:12 AM): wish i could
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:23:13 AM): where's that glass of rum!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:23:22 AM): brb
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:23:24 AM): k
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:25:11 AM): i shit you not, i've been drinking this glass of straight coconut rum for several days now, totally expecting it to cause a major infestation of fruit flies in my room. but i can't seem to get thru it
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:25:35 AM): lol
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:25:40 AM): fruit flies
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:25:54 AM): there isn't too much left, but i'm very lucky it looks like water
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:26:17 AM): yep
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:26:24 AM): you know the gay flies that like to party in malibu
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:26:26 AM): hahahaha
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:27:08 AM): lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:27:39 AM): there is, however a glass of cap'n morgan rum beside my bed too
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:27:48 AM): raelan was drinking that
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:27:59 AM): he got thru a lot more than me that night
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:28:14 AM): ah, but what a crazy little party we had that night
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:28:26 AM): ... you remember the fear of worm holes
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:28:37 AM): i told you about that right?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:29:39 AM): yeah, you did
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:29:42 AM): ok cool
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:30:31 AM): alright... you want me to get back to the previous discussion
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:31:55 AM): see the thing about polyamory is that it's a reactionary movement that is sweeping thru young society
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:32:00 AM): you can talk about whatever you want
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:33:24 AM): i'm not big on "movements" I guess I just do my own thing
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:33:57 AM): and like most reactionary movements, the bugs haven't been worked out. like, it exists more as the opposition to a long established paradigm than as a paradigm of its own
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:35:02 AM): ya i can understand that. i'm a person easily swept up in movements myself, but i do revere individuality quite sacredly
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:35:41 AM): me too, there's no one like me that i know of
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:35:55 AM): how fucking true!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:36:07 AM): and no one near as incredible!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:36:12 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:37:07 AM): awww, thank you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:37:15 AM): i often end up allowing myself swept up only to throw out all the knowledge bestowed upon me for my own take on things
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:37:19 AM): (np)
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:38:12 AM): well.... if you did believe in monogamy, i'd be trying to keep you to myself, lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:39:41 AM): see, and that's exactly what makes me shudder. "keep"... i am not a possesion. i even hate that reference in relation to pets. one doesn't own a pet. that animal lives with that person.
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:40:01 AM): but seriously. i hate the idea of being owned somehow
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:40:13 AM): you know that's not what i meant
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:40:24 AM): but it is what you meant justin
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:40:27 AM): think about it
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:40:54 AM): i don't want to own anyone, it's different
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:41:10 AM): you'd want to have some kind of "ownership rights" whether that was to my pussy, or to the type of interactions we have etc
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:41:32 AM): it's a grave mistake that people make when in relationships: they try to own one another
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:41:44 AM): and quite honestly, it makes me SICK
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:42:04 AM): "don't be lookin at my man"
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:42:28 AM): why the fuck can't i look at him, he's fucking beautiful, and they're MY eyes. not yours
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:42:31 AM): etc
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:42:43 AM): do you see what i'm getting at?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:42:47 AM): it's not the same. the last girl i was serious with, we did what we wanted to when we wanted to, but we had an understanding that we would only be with each other sexually, to me that's a little different than me owning someone's pussy
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:43:16 AM): maybe, it just seems different than what i'm talking about
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:43:37 AM): but what if one night she or you wanted to try someone different? why would that be so wrong and outside of the aggreement?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:44:24 AM): why is there so much weight on the idea that once you've commited to someone, you can never touch anyone else?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:44:59 AM): that's just not the way people are supposed to act sexually... and there's physical evidence, scientific evidence for that
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:45:13 AM): if she wanted to be with someone else sexually, it would be against our agreement. like i said, i could stand for a womaan i was with to be with another woman, but not a man, it may be a double standard, but it's how i feel
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:45:43 AM): to tell you the truth, monogamy is a system women made up to trick men into providing them with exclusive resources
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:46:17 AM): before that, humans were promiscuous, and lived communally, not unlike savannah baboons...
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:46:29 AM): haha, that's an old anthropology joke
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:46:32 AM): sorry
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:46:41 AM): anyway.
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:46:41 AM): lol, it's cool
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:47:39 AM): but for real, women exhibit something called cycle syncronicity and the purpose of it is to establish a mating season and confuse paternity certainty
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:47:58 AM): furthermore, women are much more likely to concieve when they cheat
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:48:27 AM): and, cheating is so widespread, it can't just be a product of commonday society
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:49:23 AM): that may be, but i wouldn't like a girl i was with to see other guys, it may just be millions of years of natural instinct, but i'm territorial, I wouldn't be happy if that were the case
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:50:34 AM): ha, you just called my little play with fire there: i know that on the one hand i'm screaming evolution and on the other i'm encouraging the denial of it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:50:59 AM): i guess that's one of the kinks i haven't quite worked out
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:51:05 AM): lol, i'm just being honest
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:52:00 AM): but... polyamory still makes a lot more sense to me than sitting in the cage of monogamy with it iron bars of mortality
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:52:02 AM): in any case, I love you, respect you, enjoyed the time we spent together, and enjoy the time we spend talking to one another. That's the easiest thing I can explain.
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:52:02 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:52:40 AM): I guess we see things differently, i don't see monogamy as a prison
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:53:16 AM): you know, maybe, just maybe, the reason that i do is because it always has been. but to me, sexual freedom is very integral to overall freedom
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:53:38 AM): but truth be told, i have been feeling oppressed by my own sexuality as of late
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:53:48 AM): why? how?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:54:45 AM): well, i feel enslaved my the passion and desire that burns within me. and every time i strive to sate that fire, i find its only fanning the flames
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:55:02 AM): i know how you feel
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:56:04 AM): i was thinking about a small stretch of celibacy, maybe a few months. the last time i chilled out like that it did me a lot of good
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:56:21 AM): if that's what you need, then go for it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:56:56 AM): and then i pretty much got raped (tho not violently, don't worry) and it lit me up anew
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:57:01 AM): i dunno
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:57:11 AM): WHAT?????????
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:57:14 AM): i might need rehab for this
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:57:54 AM): like i said, it really wasn't a big deal. i just said i wasn't into more than cuddling and i woke up to him fucking me
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:58:08 AM): that was a long time ago, like nine months
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:58:18 AM): that's not right, i hope he burns in hell
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:58:23 AM): meh
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:58:34 AM): i don;t even remember his face
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:58:37 AM): rape is fucking disgusting, I'm so sorry baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:58:47 AM): i'm really quite ok
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:58:50 AM): very ok
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:59:06 AM): i'm wasn't even really that distaught about it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:59:20 AM): i mean i was concerned that he would disrespect like that
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:59:33 AM): but i eventually shrugged it off
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 2:59:34 AM): wish i could hold you right now
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:59:39 AM): it was just sex
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 2:59:53 AM): i don;t need to be held about shit like that
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:00:08 AM): i didn't say it was about that
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:00:11 AM): i just want to
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:00:13 AM): aww
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:00:23 AM): then i would like to be held
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:00:36 AM): i really hate being pitied justin...
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:01:19 AM): i understand that baby, sometimes pity is just a natural response. I'll try to respect your wishes in the future though
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:01:50 AM): to tell you the truth, when i woke up and realized what he was doing, i was shocked but eventually enjoyed it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:02:03 AM): i thought, hey, might as well!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:02:11 AM): wow
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:03:04 AM): you know a lot of women do end up enjoying even being raped
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:03:12 AM): it's a way to cope i suppose
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:03:12 AM): really?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:03:15 AM): ya
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:03:28 AM): wow
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:03:38 AM): don't really know what to say
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:04:57 AM): hehe
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:05:03 AM): you're doing it again
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:05:08 AM): ?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:05:12 AM): pitying
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:05:16 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:05:26 AM): i am not!!!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:05:50 AM): happens to the best of us
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:06:22 AM): i just want to lay down next to you and pull you close, kiss you and hold you as I fall asleep
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:06:33 AM): that sounds splendid
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:06:51 AM): yeah it does, especially since my bed is empty
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:08:00 AM): you know, i'm actually quite looking forward to sleeping by myself tonight. if you were there, it'd be amazing, fabulous. but i haven't slept alone in a couple of nights, and i actually quite like to
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:08:32 AM): lol, i've slept alone every night for about 3 or 4 weeks
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:08:50 AM): i'm not gonna feel sorry for you justin
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:09:07 AM): didn't ask you to
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:09:40 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:09:48 AM): grrrr
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:10:50 AM): i really like the emoticons on yahoo better
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:11:01 AM): that's cool
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:11:20 AM): i also like that NOBODY has my address here other than you and robbie
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:11:28 AM): AWESOME
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:11:30 AM): lol
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:11:37 AM): possessive aren't i?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:11:40 AM): and if i don't want to sign into msn, i don't have to
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:11:44 AM):
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:11:52 AM): jackass
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:12:02 AM): couldn't help myself
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:12:10 AM): hey, listen, can i take a really quick smoke break?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:12:24 AM): it's super hot in here, i gotta cool off
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:12:28 AM): sure, i'm thinking about a short break too
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:12:37 AM): hot?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:12:40 AM): it's just you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:12:41 AM): to make a peachfish sandwich?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:12:41 AM): lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:12:45 AM): hehe
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:12:46 AM):
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:13:06 AM): you know what a peachfish sandwich is, don't you
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:13:14 AM): guess not
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:13:28 AM): what do you think it could be, possibly
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:13:42 AM): lol, i got one idea
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:13:46 AM): oh ya?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:13:52 AM): what's that?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:14:00 AM): going down a woman!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:14:03 AM): lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:14:09 AM): ya\
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:14:24 AM): then i could use one
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:14:27 AM): me too
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:14:29 AM): or two... or three...
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:14:36 AM): you like girls?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:14:40 AM): fuck ya
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:14:48 AM): THAT'S SO FUCKING HOT
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:14:49 AM): i've slept with many women
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:15:05 AM): i love you more than ever
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:15:22 AM): i don't believe in sexual barriers, gender barriers, that love should end where gender begins, etc
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:15:42 AM): like i said, tribe earth, unity universal
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:15:46 AM): you believe in guy on guy stuff? I just can't get into that
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:15:55 AM): have you really tried
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:15:57 AM): not that i don't like my gay friends
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:16:01 AM): no i havent'
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:16:46 AM): you would be surprised probably, at how much you enjoyed it, even if you didn't necessarily desire to continue participating in it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:16:59 AM): gay men are very attentive lovers
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:17:16 AM): and men do have g-spots, or should i say p-spots
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:17:17 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:17:23 AM): lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:17:42 AM): have you ever tried letting a woman stimulate it?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:18:07 AM): prostate?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:18:09 AM): ya
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:18:22 AM): yeah, i don't mind if a woman wants to play with my ass
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:19:15 AM): that's cool i like it when men are willing to experient like that. i think you'd be hard pressed to find a guy who didn't like it, provided he tried it relaxed enough
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:19:26 AM): i don't really believe in too many sexual barriers as long as me and the woman i'm with are both comfortable
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:19:43 AM): true dat
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:19:44 AM): k
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:19:53 AM): i'm going to have my ciggy
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:20:04 AM): k
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:20:14 AM): be back in 7 and a half minutes
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:20:16 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:20:23 AM):
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:20:35 AM):
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:20:45 AM): god are they ever cute!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:21:01 AM): lol, go smoke
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:21:07 AM): ok
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:31:23 AM): i want to bite you on your ass
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:31:43 AM): no biting... just nibling
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:31:47 AM): just seeing if you were around, lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:31:56 AM): i just got back
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:32:17 AM): how was your break?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:32:24 AM): nice, didn't do anythign
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:32:26 AM): thing
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:32:30 AM): sandwich?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:32:50 AM): lol, i wish
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:33:00 AM): me too
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:33:18 AM): so what do you wanna talk about?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:33:24 AM): i dunno
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:33:30 AM): should we continue what we were talking about
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:33:41 AM): i did a lot of talking tho...
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:34:22 AM): but do you see now that my little rebelion is a lot more involved than just a silly idea, that it has a lot of girth to it?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:35:14 AM): yeah, i know baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:36:05 AM): you know, however, that it also has a lot to do with a hurt that i've been cultivating for a long time
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:36:19 AM): oh yeah?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:37:32 AM): well yes. i'll give you a brief synopsis of how it all went. when the idea was first presented to me, it was by my first boyfriend, who came back into my life last summer after a decade hiatus
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:38:31 AM): when we found each other again, he was still getting over his newest ex. but after a couple of months, he decided he was ready. and by then i had started dating someone else
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:38:44 AM): you can imagine the turmoil i went thru trying to decide
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:39:30 AM): so he presented me with this idea, why not be like a paper doll, a link on a chain? to allow love between many people to pass thru me. and it captivated me
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:39:38 AM): i wondered if i could pull it off
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:40:06 AM): i presented the idea to hugo, whom i was dating. (ray was the first boyfriend's name)
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:40:22 AM): and hugo went for it. he loved the idea! i was thrilled
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:41:22 AM): he's cooler than me
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:41:32 AM): but eventually, my patience for hugo wore thin, in part because i was nowhere near over ray, and in part because hugo turned out to be a big fake, showing clearly that he had no passion for the things he claimed to
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:41:52 AM): like anti-consumerism and environmentalism
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:41:57 AM): not very cool at all
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:42:06 AM): he was a fraud
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:42:25 AM): oh
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:42:54 AM): and in the meantime, ray was starting to really push for a monogamous relationship afterall
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:43:01 AM): damn
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:43:13 AM): he wanted to rekindle what we had had when we were teens
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:43:18 AM): so i went for it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:43:49 AM): but there was a weird morning when i came over to see him, and sheryl was there. she had spent the night.
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:43:54 AM): i threw a FIT
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:44:06 AM): i tried very hard not to
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:44:18 AM): damn, that sucks
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:44:38 AM): but i thought, if i invest myself this much you are going to make a fool of me
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:44:51 AM): but aperently, nothing happened between them that night
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:45:01 AM): but that really isn't what matters
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:45:16 AM): nope
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:45:21 AM): the fact was that i couldn't handle the idea of him having female friends
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:45:29 AM): and that isn't fair.
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:45:34 AM): so i called it off
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:45:48 AM): and we decided to go back to polyamory
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:45:58 AM): hmm
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:46:06 AM): and the harem that ray managed to build was SOOOO beautiful
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:46:23 AM): harem, he sounds like a pimp, lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:46:44 AM): there was four of us. and for the most part, we participated in a sisterhood of sharing a man that couldn't be kept
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:46:51 AM): no, he's not a pimp
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:46:59 AM): he's a revolutionary
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:47:12 AM): wow, it was him and four women?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:47:13 AM): he treated us very delicately
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:47:22 AM): and we all had other lovers too
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:47:29 AM): it was a chain
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:47:34 AM): a chain of love
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:47:36 AM): i hope you were all using protection
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:47:58 AM): good god! that isn't really an issue here, sweetheart
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:48:16 AM): of course there was protection... but that's not the point
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:48:20 AM): what ? protection?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:48:37 AM): it's not the point, but it should definitely be used
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:49:16 AM): i'm talking to you about one of the most amazing experiences of my life that ended way too soon and you're talking to me about latex
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:49:17 AM): JESUS
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:50:05 AM): sorry, it just seemed like a valid point. didn't mean to anger you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:50:39 AM): i'm not angry... i'm just clearly not communicating to you how amazing this whole arangement was
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:51:08 AM): and amazing is a weak word for it
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:51:34 AM): i guess not, maybe it's better explained in person or vocally
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:51:53 AM): to tell you the truth, now that it's all fallen apart, sheryl and i are still friends, if you'd believe
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:52:15 AM): stacey and i have run into each other a few times, always happily
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:53:02 AM): i never met sarah, but her and ray opted for monogamy after that, and they are trully meant for one another (the other three of us really agree on that matter)
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:53:30 AM): i'm glad it was a good experience for you.
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:53:37 AM): it really was
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:53:56 AM): i would participate in similar experiences if given the opportunity
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:54:13 AM): that's cool
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:55:09 AM): i'm a typical male pig hypocrite, I would love to be with multiple women, but wouldn't like it if they were with other me at the same time
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:55:24 AM): the thing is, justin, jealousy is painful. but if you can try to overcome it, it hurts a lot less
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:55:47 AM): and the best way to overcome a fear is to face it head on
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:56:08 AM): and the best way to continue to fight is is with honesty
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:56:18 AM): i'm definitely honest
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:56:36 AM): that's one thing i have going for me (or against me)
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:56:38 AM): that's why i want to hear about my lover's conquests
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:56:55 AM): i think you have a lot more than that baby
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:57:15 AM): yeah
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:57:47 AM): but the thing is, eventually, everyone strays, one way or another (physically, mentally)
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:57:47 AM): i'll tell you about my conquests as they come along. maybe you should tell me about yours, it might help me, might not, you can never tell
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:57:55 AM): ya
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:58:52 AM): isn't it better, doesn't it draw you closer to your lover when you share their experiences with them? if they're gonna stray, wouldn't you rather know, and be excited for them, excited with them?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 3:59:34 AM): maybe, but i don't want them to stray, I mean, i'm not enough? do you know what i mean?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:59:50 AM): yes, i do know what you mean
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 3:59:53 AM): but the thing is
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:00:57 AM): you might be the absolute cat's ass to that person, that doesn't mean they are always going to recognize what they have... not to mention that you shouldn't put your emotional wellbeing in the hands of another person
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:01:11 AM): if they don't think you're enough doesn't mean that you aren't
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:01:33 AM): you're your loudest cheerleader, and you're the only owner of your emotions
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:01:50 AM): you should always be responsible for how you feel
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:02:00 AM): i know that, but i guess i'm just too old fashioned
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:02:08 AM): and never let that responsibility rest on someone else
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:02:18 AM): you aren't too anything
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:02:33 AM): i think you just need to swallow that red pill now and again
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:02:35 AM):
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:02:42 AM):
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:02:58 AM):
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:03:13 AM): that was a big mouthful haha
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:03:32 AM): i do love you, you just represent something new for me
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:03:43 AM): new things are tough
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:03:54 AM): i like it though, i don't think i know of anything about you that i don't like
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:03:58 AM): having your bubble burst is not a nice feeling
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:04:12 AM): i can name something
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:04:16 AM): ?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:04:27 AM): the fact that i'm in calgary
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:04:28 AM): hahaha
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:04:35 AM): lol, true
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:04:43 AM): i want you close to me
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:04:49 AM): no, actually you don't like that i'm not monogamous
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:05:14 AM): k, i'm gonna look up flight prices
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:05:49 AM): i don't like it, but I can't complain because you were honest and upfront with me about it from the very beginning
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:06:02 AM): that's true, i was wasn't i
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:06:10 AM): let me know about flights though
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:06:11 AM): lol
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:06:15 AM): yeah you were
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:06:58 AM): haha, would you believe that the start up page on expedia has new orleans as the destination!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:07:15 AM): and i didn't book flights when we were there last
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:07:27 AM): lol
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:07:28 AM): that was me considering coming back a few months ago
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:07:50 AM): hmm... like maybe a month and a half ago
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:08:09 AM): well, i'm closer to houston now, so look there!!!
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:08:20 AM): i am
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:08:50 AM): k
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:09:42 AM): holy fuck!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:09:52 AM): ?
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:09:59 AM): less than $500
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:10:12 AM): and that's for the end of the month
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:10:54 AM): hmmm, my birthday is the 21st, lol. happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me...
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:11:08 AM): hmm
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:12:23 AM): i'd help pay for a ticket, but i'm broke and jobless at the moment...
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:12:53 AM): justin, i can't promise you anything. school's starting, and i don't know my schedule yet
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:13:13 AM): i have tuition coming up
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:13:20 AM): it's ok, i'm just joking about the happy birthday stuff, i totally understand baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:13:52 AM): besides, it would be cheeper to come sept 29 - oct 4
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:13:57 AM): that's what i checked
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:13:59 AM): out
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:14:36 AM): that's cool, it's ok, you can come whenever you want, just because i want you here now, doesn't mean i expect you here now
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:15:08 AM): where would i even stay? i mean you're living with your folks right now aren't you?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:15:50 AM): you could stay here or we could stay at my sisters place, she has extra rooms, or at my best friends place, where you would sleep is not a problem
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:16:07 AM): as long as it was with you, baby
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:16:13 AM): of course baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:17:20 AM): ok, that's going to require some serious thinking justin... but it would be so awesome to see you... and to get out of calgary right before winter hits, even if only for a weekend
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:17:40 AM): maybe october would be even more sensible...
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:18:02 AM): hehe, come for halloween?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:18:17 AM): that's fine. I want to see you as soon as possible. I'm not very patient, but I'm very understanding, lol
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:18:21 AM): halloween
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:18:27 AM): hell yeah, i love halloween
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:18:33 AM): me too
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:18:42 AM): what did you go as last year?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:19:15 AM): last year, i didn't go as anything, it was weird
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:19:24 AM): this year will be fun though
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:19:34 AM): what are you planning?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:20:11 AM): to go as Jason from Friday the 13th. Custom hockey mask and everything
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:20:25 AM): very expensive stuff
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:20:31 AM): haha really
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:20:55 AM): i went to the rocky horror picture show last year, for a green party fundraiser
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:21:02 AM): awesome
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:21:31 AM): and after i saw it, i put together an outfit similar to what they wear in one of the sceens
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:22:06 AM): but it was a bit of a private occasion, i mean i didn't party
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:22:18 AM): oh, nice
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:22:47 AM): ray and i met on halloween 10 yrs prior, so we sort of sat around reminiscing
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:23:10 AM): cool
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:24:18 AM): writing poetry to each other...
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:24:42 AM): i think we had sheryl over for dinner that night, it was the first time i ever met her
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:24:50 AM): she was only 17 at the time
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:25:06 AM): and i showed up in a schoolgirl uniform
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:25:13 AM): holy shit
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:25:21 AM): that's hot
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:25:26 AM): but ray made me change out of it, so as not to make sheryl uncomfortable
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:25:33 AM): she secretly loved it
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:25:44 AM): of course
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:26:04 AM): i think ray and his roomie chad were just overwhelmed at the whole idea that she was there
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:26:37 AM): i mean, they were used to my antics, but with a girl that sweet and young sitting there... well, my antics were tooooo much
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:26:41 AM): ahahha
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:26:49 AM): haha
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:27:25 AM): actually, sheryl wanted me to be her first, we talked a lot about raspberry scented bubble baths and champagne
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:27:30 AM): but it never did happen
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:27:35 AM): maybe it still will
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:27:48 AM): maybe, that's hot
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:28:13 AM): that girl is incredible... i've never seen such a splendid mind in such a beautiful little girl
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:28:25 AM): i wrote a story about her
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:28:32 AM): you would love it
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:28:56 AM): hmm... i'd love to read it
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:29:02 AM): one sec
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:29:07 AM): it's pretty short too
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:29:24 AM): k
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:31:23 AM): i don't want to give you the url for this story, because it's a secret website where i'm writing my novel
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:31:32 AM): so i'll email it
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:31:41 AM): k, i'll read it tomorrow
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:31:50 AM): i want you to read it now
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:32:35 AM): actually
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:32:45 AM): i could just cut and paste it into this
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:32:46 AM): k
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:33:11 AM): emissary if you hold a cigarette just right, so that the smoke streams away from your eyes and not across your vision, and then focus on something beyond, the heat will rise up from the cinder and distort what you see in the subtlest and most pleasant of ways. this is what i thought of as he led her across the plush carpet to the bed i could fully see in the fissure between the two doors, which enclosed me within this cabinet. she was quite young, with long, wheat-colored hair that hung like heavy, velvet curtains around her sweet face. her plump lips gently caressed his neck, and she looked up at him with tender sapphire eyes as he lowered her onto the soft cloud of bed. she giggled a little when he straightened to pull off her socks.
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:33:12 AM): k
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:34:11 AM): let me know when you're done that part
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:34:27 AM): i'm done, i'm a pretty fast reader
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:34:50 AM): her chin wrinkled into her neck while she strained to look at him. he knelt now on the bed, hovering over her, long dreadlocks spilling onto her face. i suddenly felt such a gale of nostalgia that it took everything within me not to burst from my little sanctuary. i had been this age when he first leaned over me like this; his hands roamed then over my rumpled blouse, the way they now explored hers. but i kept both jealousy and exposure at bay, and allowed this nostalgia to fester into longing, and longing into wonder. i watched him undress her with hungry eyes, pulling untied the ribbon of her drawstring pants with sensual finesse. each button on her blouse received careful attention. he stared deeply at her all the while with the intensity i knew only he on this planet was capable of.
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:35:21 AM): when he pulled off his own shirt, she and i sighed in unison at his inspiring form and the removal of his pants encouraged from us, again in unison, an admiring exaltation. she held his head between her hands as he nuzzled her reticent breasts, rolling her eyes back in pleasure. then he was at her thighs, teasing more with his nose and cheek than with his lips. i knew from her muted squeal when he slipped his tongue within her. eating her zealously, he looked into her from his happy place, eyes hungry and closing now and again. he ate devouringly as she arched her back and raised her hips to meet his face. he grasped her buttocks from beneath and held her up while she clung to his hair, running her knuckles into his dreadlocks.
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:35:27 AM): it's turning me on already
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:35:33 AM): good
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:36:13 AM): that's hot
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:36:44 AM): i rolled my own head back in pleasure for a moment, and found i could feel moisture between my thighs. i kept my eyes closed and my hands pressed gingerly against the doors, for fear that if i touch my self, my exclamations might reveal me. their simultaneous groans brought me back into their world and i immediately knew i had missed his entrance into her. i opened my eyes just in time to see him flip her easily onto himself. she sat poised, impaled upon him and began moving, ever so subtly. her rocking soon became increasingly erratic and her little cries louder. the grin upon his face widened and his brow furrowed in mirrored pleasure and i knew they would both soon climax into oblivion. i saw him incline his pelvis high so as to allow her a steeper ride and she responded dutifully.
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:37:22 AM): mmmm
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:37:39 AM): it seemed to inspire her to press herself harder into him, cocking her hips so i knew that her clitoris grinded against him. his hands enveloped her strongly, assisting in every plunge and climb. eyes locked, they limbed their heavenward staircase. her skin dewy now, her breath tedious, she began a stream of barely audible expletives. i knew before he even spoke the word that it would soon escape his lips: “oh goddess…” after they finally came, she fell, gasping, against his chest and he held her there while rolling her gently into the crook of his arm. they lay like that for a few moments. blinking his eyes a few times to clear the haze of the orgasm; he turned his face towards the wardrobe and found my watching eyes. he smiled sensuously
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:38:11 AM): mmm
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:38:17 AM): you like that?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:38:51 AM): yeah
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:39:32 AM): that story was such a joy to write
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:40:02 AM): i can imagine
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:40:21 AM): well, i hate to but i need to get some sleep
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:40:39 AM): i wanted that to be a bedtime story for you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:40:44 AM): i need to sleep too
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:40:49 AM): i have a long day tomorrow
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:40:59 AM): i'll be thinking of it and you
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:41:04 AM): sweet
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:41:26 AM): hope it isn't too long
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:41:36 AM): what, my day?
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:42:02 AM): yeah
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:42:27 AM): well i have to get up early, get ready for work and then go to school to pay tuition, get my registration unblocked and then register. get together all my books and stuff
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:42:51 AM): then i have dancingfor a few hours and i'm getting together with raelan for drinks at midnight
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:42:52 AM): damn, that sucks
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:43:34 AM): well, if you're not too tired i'll talk to you later tomorrow night
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:43:50 AM): i might not be home tomorrow night, baby
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:43:58 AM): i might stay at raelan's
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:44:15 AM): (ps, raelan and i do not have sex anymore)
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:44:34 AM): that's fine, i'll talk to you as soon as possible
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:44:38 AM): ok
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:44:42 AM): sweet dreams love5r
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:44:45 AM): phht
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:44:47 AM): jesus
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:44:51 AM): lover!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:44:53 AM): k
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:45:03 AM): lol, you too sexy
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:45:12 AM): you sexy too
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:45:17 AM): i love you
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:45:28 AM): i know, i'm the shit!!!
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:45:33 AM): i love you too
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:45:37 AM): good night
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:45:50 AM): you are! it's about time you started cheerleading for yourself
hypnotik_luciditi (9/9/2005 4:45:52 AM): good night
grave_sensation (9/9/2005 4:46:10 AM): lol, night